Sharing our news

Our feet have been swept out from under us and we need to share some news with you.
We are sorry if we haven't reached out to you personally, but we've been going at warp speed!!

About 9 days ago Stu noticed that he wasn't able to say a word or two when he wanted to.  Nothing major, just sort of off for him.   He mentioned it to me, and I questioned him a bit and found no fault in speech or memory.

Every day since he would come to me and say he was sorry for not being quite himself. I truly didn't notice any change whatsoever.  I questioned him, tested him and found no error in memory or thought process.  I started watching him a bit closer, but he was just normal Stu to me.

Then on Wednesday May 23rd in the afternoon Stu apologized again for being so "off".  I thought he should just go in to the doctor and have them look him over.  He made an appointment for that very afternoon.  He went alone to the doctor.  Later he texted me and asked me to speak to the doctor.  The doctor let me know that they found a mass on the CT scan and that they were taking Stu to ER via ambulance!
Breathe.... breathe...
My thoughts are jumbled, but here they are -
I left the girls at home alone with all of the information that I had and went on my own to ER were Stu was being given an MRI.  We called Stu's mom Natalie to come over to the ER.

The results came back from the MRI that there are actually 2 tumors: one in the Pituitary gland area of the brain and the other in the Frontal Lobe/Temporal Lobe area of the left side of his brain.
We met with the neurologist (Dr. Singel, El Camino Hospital ER) and together thought the best thing to do was send Stu to UCSF Medical Center.

Stu arrived at 12:40am on Thursday and has had a bunch of tests, high level MRI's and TEAM STU FORMED very fast around us!  His mom jumped in and went to the doctor to hold her son's hand and ask all the right questions.  His brothers stood sentry by his side all day long looking for help where they could, being productive, being amazing to not only Stu but to me and the kiddos as well (they are my brothers too, how lucky I am!!).   Uncle Dave, Stephanie and Alyssa, my sisters and brother all reaching out fast!! So amazing, so helpful to have your love and support surrounding us while our heads are simply reeling with the news.

I stayed home to be there for the girls.  The girls went to school all day, then we went to see our Stu. What a day!  We have so many amazing people touching our lives every day, but on days like this BOY does the amazing really show!!  In one single day we had so many hands helping, so many hearts hoping, prayers being spoken that I cannot name you all... but you know and thank you!!

Seeing Stu was so good! The girls had not seen him in nearly two days!!  They needed their daddy!
I needed to see him. He looks great other than an iv.  He is so positive and such a fighter!! He has so much to process.  Stu had a few visitors: Mike, Bob, Kristy & Paul outside of the family, who helped make the day easier.

As of 5/24 Stu gets to come home tomorrow (which is today 5/25 - our anniversary, Stu's dad's birthday, Stu's brother's birthday) What a day. Stu and I both were able to sleep last night, which helped.

So here we are, today May 25th our 16th anniversary and my Stu is working hard to get out and take me to dinner! It's just like him to make a big event special for me.
We don't really know more, except at some point late tonight Stu will come home.  Tomorrow we will take a family day.  We will watch our Stella perform her last dance competition and praise her for her talents, then huddle at home.  If anyone wants to hang out with Stu and see a Warriors game, just email us!

On Sunday we would like to invite you to come one, come all to our house from 10am to 5pm to hang out with Stu.  Bring fun memories to share with Stu!!

The plan for next week is that Stu will go back to the hospital on Monday at some point, I will stay at the hospital with Stu Monday night and likely Tuesday night.
On Tuesday morning the amazing team of surgeons will perform an awake brain surgery, test his nerve centers, language and mobility and get everything out that they can for the 1 tumor that sits in the Temporal/Frontal Lobe area.  Stu should only loose a little bit of hair here.  They will take the tumor that they could get out to pathology and have tests run to find out what type of tumor it is, so we can form a game plan for how to fight this thing.

The nurses will call my cell every hour to give me brief updates as to an end time.  The updates are not information about how it went and they are just estimates of the end time of surgery.

The way that the doctors will know approximately how the surgery went is based on how well Stu is doing when he immediately wakes up from surgery. 

There will be some swelling, and that will impact nerve centers short term.  Stu will remain in the hospital at UCSF thru Friday (at this point).  I don't know the time of surgery, only that these are generally started early in the day as they can take all day. We estimate 7:30am to be the start time.

We are told by the psychologist on Stu's team that this is a relatively safe surgery for brain surgery.

The other tumor will need to be addressed differently, by a different team of specialists that deal with Pituitary gland tumors.    We do not know when that will happen.

 How is Stu?  Well he is Stu!! He likes to be busy, productive, active and engaged.  All this sitting around is boring.  He is bright and uplifted by all of the overwhelming support that is flooding in, along with the jokes, the hugs, the prayers and positivity coming our way!! He is scared, flustered even, but he says mostly for me and the girls.  He is a fighter, he is flying through test after test, and the doctors are amazing that he noticed being "off" at all!    His first doctor had him count backwards from 100 by 7's!!! He rocked it, of course.  What a smart man he is!  He is focusing on the shrinking of these tumors. He is fighting them so hard.

Us girls are tough! We know we have you all in our corner, which helps.  We love this man and we will do what we can to help him get through this.  We are happy to have your help as well, but we don't always know what we need.

Here are a few things you can do at this point:
Our top priority is making this time for our girls the most amazing, busy time for them that we can.  Not a sad time with lots of doctor visits and tumor "shop" talk.

You could take them for a few sleepovers when Natalie (his mom) and I need to both be at the hospital.

Meals sometimes (We currently have a plan in place for next week, we are all set for next week).

I'll get the girls schedule together and send out private requests for playdates this weekend.


I have a few requests that I would like you to please follow:

No adding anything related to this onto any type of social media (NO Facebook, No Instagram, No SnapChat Etc). 

 I might have forgot to add someone with my brain being so scrambled right now and I'm so sorry if I did!! We are ok with you sharing this information with those who know us.

Our kids need to follow their normal routine and texting me for constant updates keeps me way too busy.  We hold you all so very dear to us if you are receiving this blog and we ask you to use it or email me.

We need your prayers and positivity every step of the way. Don't stop!!  We feel your energy.

We will share we know here and read what you post.

If you need to email me or Stu please send it to: sandi_elefant@yahoo.com
Urgent matters only via text.

Respect the girls time with me: Only text between 9am and 2pm on week days, only for emergencies.  Email otherwise.

You are welcome to send the girls notes if you'd like to.   Please no flowers as they cause allergies for us:
 Stella and Jaida Elefant
169 Giffin Road,
Los Altos Ca 94022

The girls know everything and are dealing with this. Please try not to whisper behind their backs, they will hear you.  Please try to not make the constant conversations about this in front of the girls.  Talk about happy memories too.

Stu will likely be up for visitors on Wednesday if you wish to stop by. He is at UCSF at 505 Pernasuss Ave, SF CA  I don't know his room number yet. I will post it when I do know.

That's all for now everyone!  Sandi & Stu